The key to all the waffling

As confident as I sounded a week or two ago, insecurity still has me in its teeth. And because of that, some comments I’ve made in the world don’t add up. This is simple indecisiveness. I don’t think cozy books are intended for people like me (depressed, not-femme, vaguely anticapitalist). But I feel like I’m obligated to write one, and here’s why.

About six months ago, I joined a well-known writing Discord. One of the best, unquestionably: they constantly remind newbies that their experts are handing out advice for free that they should, by all rights, be charging for.

When I asked for help there, I was informed that all I had to do was write one reasonably competent cozy fantasy book that hit the right plot beats, and I’d never have to work again. Those exact words. Never have to work again.

Let that sink in, as it’s been sinking into my mind for the last six months: Enough for a two-adult household to live on comfortably for the rest of our lives. Breaking it down, I hope to get at least twenty more years out of this life. (Fingers crossed.) Let’s say $100k per year for two adults to live an upper middle class existence. $100k x 20 = $2 million.

Every single reasonably competent cozy fantasy book. Two million dollars. Guaranteed. No wonder the cozy folks seem relaxed. (Also, a lot of them have written multiple books. For the sheer love of it, I assume. Which is wonderful.)

First, I tried following the experts’ advice. I tried to follow their system to break down how a plot works. I got about a page into the ur-text of the genre before my brain-gears ground to a halt. I just did not understand how to dismantle that story and turn it into another one.

Truth be told, I feel like this is 201 level stuff, and the experts don’t realize how it can be harder for a beginner. I kind of nod my head when people describe how plots work, but I don’t truly understand it in my bones. And reverse-engineering an existing story is more challenging than that, I think. It’s more difficult than following the Hero’s Journey or something. Especially when the usual advice for plotting is “more more more, stress stress stress, stakes stakes stakes” and this genre is opposed to all of that.

Still, every day since then, I think about that. I could be giving our family financial security. We would never have to suffer in this capitalist hellscape again. Just by doing this thing that doesn’t even seem that difficult, except it’s fiendishly difficult, and I don’t know why. Dozens of people have done it, and won their freedom from ever having to struggle again. I admire that. Because it’s possible, I feel obligated to do it. But I have not been able to yet.

I wish I could. Every day I have to drive to work or my spouse has to work overtime, I think, we have to go through this because of me. Because I couldn’t do one thing that’s supposed to be simple.

I hope someday someone writes a guide like Romancing the Beat does for romance, where the plot structure is explained in a way even I could understand. By then, the genre may be diluted so far that every book isn’t guaranteed two million dollars; romance isn’t like that at this point. Some romance books succeed and some don’t. But it couldn’t hurt to try.

In the meantime, I’ll keep writing what I write. It isn’t enough, but it’s what I have.

Edit: Talking to some legit-cozy authors, it seems like Famous Discord may have overstated the case. I’m not sure why they did that, but I’m inclined to believe firsthand accounts over “not sure if they’re firsthand or not” (Famous Discord is anonymous, so I don’t know if the info came from a cozy author or someone in another genre).

That changes things. If those books still have to sink or swim on their own like every other kind of book does – why not just write what I like to write? I’ll keep thinking about this. But it changes things.